Feel begins with a thought or a picture in your mind and I do not know its end. Everyone has feel. How do you know when someone is staring at you from across the room? How does a blind person know when the sun is shining? My thinking is that a blind person has rather well developed feel. So feel is an awareness that must be developed. Feel is a form of communication. Have you ever picked up the phone to call someone you haven’t spoken to in a long time and the line is busy because they were calling you at the same time? Or received a call out of the blue from someone you were just thinking of? Was this a coincidence? Feel can be as subtle as a thought.

This is the language of the horse. The horse has survived over 50 million years and has a very well developed sense of awareness as well as instinct. Body language is a form of feel and communication as well. If you approach a horse, a prey animal, with the intent of “making” him do something, the horse will feel you coming, read your body language and survival instinct and reactive behavior will ensue. It could be a subtle feeling of bracing against you with mild resentment or, panic and flight, shut down, and in some cases extreme brace or fight will come up inside him. Not only can this be dangerous with 1,000 lbs of muscle, hooves, and teeth but it doesn’t do anything positive for the long term relationship overall. It does not build trust or respect.  

If you approach a horse with the intent of making the right thing easy for him to do, the horse will not read you as a threat to his survival. This feels right to the horse. The horse wants to get along.

Performing desired maneuvers such as canter departures, flying changes and turns with a willing partner that is supple, (head, neck, shoulders, ribs and hips available) is a pleasure for both horse and rider. This applies to the ground handling as well, when your horse steps willingly onto the trailer or stands quietly to help you get on.

The short answer is to shift your intent from pressure/release to placing the emphasis on the release. The horse will seek the release. (An example would be instead of kicking or digging your heel into the side of your horse to go, liven up your own feel in the saddle to go somewhere first, look where you want to ride and pull your leg(s) off your horse’s side. This is the opposite of a kick.)

Do you have a clear picture in your mind of what it is that you would like your horse to do? If you do not, how can your horse, feel and body language expert, figure it out?

To me, sureness is something developed over time and experience. It is the confidence that you are clear about what it is that you are asking of your horse and how (at least one way) to offer or present that to him. If this presentation does not fit your horse, you know another way and/or are able to change that presentation to help him understand what it is that you are asking. This sureness will show up in your feel and body language, both on the ground and in your mounted work, giving the horse confidence to follow your feel.